Forgotten Without Departure

It wasn't intentional. I didn't mean to walk away from printed pieces of goodness. It just happened. So unexpectedly. And then Tuesday happened... With 30 minutes to kill and a bookstore on the way to my destination, I found myself enamored, engrossed and inspired by books all over again. I got completely lost. It felt so good. Like chocolate and red wine good. For some reason, inspiration was back and my inner critic that compares self to everyone else was gone.

When I look at other blogs, my inner critic is quick to point out that any idea I have is "not good enough." "That idea has already been done." "No one cares about that." "You can't do anything as well as her." And it leaves me paralyzed. That is one of the many reasons for my recent hiatus. I felt so stuck. With nothing to share. No desire to write or create. I seemed to have completely forgotten my love of books and magazines. Flipping the pages. The smells. The sounds. Every single sense being engaged. There's something quite beautiful about it.

The irony is that I'm surrounded by stacks and stacks of books in my home. I think I just forgot how engaging (and apparently non-threatening) they can be. They are so much more than the simple adornment I have relegated them to being. Their pages are filled with ideas, color, escape, possibility, teaching and on and on the list could go. Before Pinterest and the blogosphere, I would go to the book store almost every Sunday for 1-2 hours. I would find a comfy chair, stack my books high beside me and have my sketch pad at the ready. Now it seems, that I barely pause long enough to capture the detail of images; let alone be truly inspired by them. For some reason, books provide a separation between myself and the artist. There's no "follower" count, "likes" number or anything else that allows me to compare. I'm not so quick to judge myself. And honestly, think less of myself. It is simply creation, beauty and inspiration without measure. I like that.

Oh Lord, please don't let the internet do to books what MTV did to music videos. Books and magazines, both old and new, will forever have a place in my heart. And I promise, printed goods, I will do my best to never break up with you again. It's clearly bad juju for me. 

Let the flipping of pages, long pauses and inspiration commence! xo