Do you ever feel entitled to that meal with zero interruptions? How about that weekend getaway? Maybe a comfy bed to rest your head on after a long hard day? I know I do. A lot! Lately I am learning that I really struggle with comfort as an idol. So, why wouldn't I feel that I deserve all those things or a little comfort after a long hard day with the kids and house work? Here's the problem, if my littles learn mostly by watching what I do versus learning from what I say... I am in deep doo doo. Deep! As I wrestle through my issues, I figure I'll give sweet Kay Wyma's book, Cleaning House, a read. Not only will I learn something to help my littles, but I'm quite sure there's something in there for me as well.
Kay is a women's bible study leader at my church, the writer of The MOAT Blog and an insanely funny woman. Like, laugh out loud funny. She recently did a 12 month experiment on ridding her home of youth entitlement and then wrote a book about it. Genius! Many of my friends have read the book and say it's great. Kay is getting a ton of press too - good press. So it's official, I'll be adding this gem to my Nook this weekend. Wanna read it with me? Come on, let's laugh and learn together.
Here are a few other ways to reduce some things around your house...
REDUCE ELBOW GREASE:
REDUCE CLUTTER:
REDUCE BORING:
Just when I thought my littles weren't that bad, I took a trip to the mall. Big mistake. Huge! There is no better place for your littles, or us bigs, to get a case of the gimmes. "Can we get a lego keychain?" (they don't even drive or have access to our house without us...why on earth do they need an accessory that holds keys?) "Can we get our ice cream now?" (as if the word "treat" had even left my lips, pretty sure I had said nothing because I was too busy stuffing my face with Chick-fil-A.) "How about a cookie?" Really? Really? Non-stop wantings/entitlement - fo' realz. Geeze, I gotta buy this book tonight! Forget the weekend... I am clearly already in deep doo doo.
How do you keep the "gimmes" at bay? (aka give me this, give me that...) xo
O, I am HEARING you. I realise that even by giving in to an apparently little "please, can we have that, please, please?" -- say for a chocolate chip cookie -- I am condoning, reinforcing, that whole "gimme gimme" attitude. So I keep treats -- both big and small -- well spaced out, with lots of refusals in between. Treats are just that -- treats -- they're not essential for survival. When I give them, I remind the kids of that, and the fact that they should be thankful, and never take their blessings for granted. At the same time, I make sure they don't see me giving MYSELF too many treats -- as Zig Ziglar said, "Lectures often confuse our kids, but the example we set is crystal clear"!
ReplyDeleteI usually let them have a treat if we go to the mall, usually a pretzel + lemonade. But I try to keep it at that--1 treat. They are too little to know the mall has toys. But at target--thats a difficult place. We talk about what allowance money he has. Sometimes I offer them a $1 and show him what means (a matchbox car..a book from the dollar section...) I'm pretty frank with them that mommy and daddy have a set amount of money each month and we can't buy-buy-buy! I definitely prefer to do my shopping alone :)
ReplyDeleteLove the idea of this book. I can only imagine how tough it would be to teach your kids not to feel entitled in this materialist society (which I definitely fall prey to). So much to think about when raising kids! Eep!
ReplyDeleteBikBik - Girl, Zig had it right. My MIL just told me yesterday, they (my boys) don't need you to explain everything, yes or no...the "why?" is because you are the parent! ouch. boy was she right. I don't have to explain myself or be their best friend. I am called to love and teach them. xo
ReplyDeleteJulia - ha! me too girl. A kid-free trip to Target is sometimes equal to a day at the spa! xo
Megs - Amen. you gotta read this book with me...in preparation for the future. xo
I just finished this book last week and it was fascinating! Completely worth the read! One of the things that stood out to me in the book was the idea that I am enabling my child when I swoop in to do things for him that he should be doing for himself, which definitely contributes to a sense of entitlement. He is only three, so this is something I want to work on now. It's so much faster if I pick up the toys and avoid the tantrum, but it isn't teaching him anything. Grrr, being a parent is tough! :) So cool that she goes to your church, how neat to glean from her wisdom!
ReplyDeleteToo true. My 6yo son has a case of the can-I, can-I......all day long! All of of my kids are pretty independent and this summer they have been learning a few more things to help out with around the house. I must admit that I allow them to slack on some of their duties during the school year due to tests, sports, games, lessons, etc.
ReplyDeleteI have been meaning to read books by John Rosemond and have fallen short here too. He speaks to the entitlement issue as well.
My children are 8 and 10 and this book will give me the foresight i will definitely need! Thanks for the recommendation.
ReplyDeletemargie
Erin - I concur. Grrrrrr is right. This parenting gig is HARD stuff. Praise God it is so rewarding. Glad you likey the book. I started it last week and am loving it.
ReplyDeleteShon - Need to check out the book you mentioned as well. This girl needs all the help she can get!
Margie - any time friend.
We mommies gotta stick together. xoxo